Always Tried and Proven Page 13

  She had found a bass player to replace Jimmie, but he was not even close to adequate. He was barely able to play many of the songs, and Callie had to drop all of the more difficult ones. He tried hard, but he wasn’t up to the grade.

  With Dalton and Sean leaving, Callie had no choice. She canceled her contracts for the next month, to give herself a chance to recruit more musicians. Sean, Sadie and Dalton pooled some money to pay Callie's rent the following month, and Sadie gave her enough in offerings from her work in the tent, to pay for her food and utilities.

  She began immediately to search the music shop ad boards and even resorted to the newspaper. She was heartened to have a plethora of responses; but all of her try-outs turned out to be flops. There didn’t seem to be any competent country musicians available, anywhere in New York at that particular time.

  She cried herself to sleep many nights and worried about what she was going to do. One such night, Sadie came into her room and hugged her soundly.

  “Callie, honey. Don’t worry. Something will work out.”

  “Yeah. Sure.” Callie snorted. “I think God is punishing me for refusing to let Sam convert me.”

  Sadie shrugged. “I wouldn’t go that far. But remember how I told you God has a plan? Two of your guys are coming with the tent, and I think you’re supposed to, as well. This is that closing door. But the next door will open. It was clear that God was reading your mail to Sam. Are you sure you don’t want to at least let him pray for you?”

  “No, Sadie.” Callie sighed. “It’s just best that I leave Sam alone. I don’t want to mess up his life any more than I already have.”

  “You know, he feels very bad about Sean and Dalton.”

  “Yeah. Well, my loss is his gain.” Callie said dryly. “Tell him I don’t hold it against him, will you?”

  “Sure.” Sadie agreed with a little disappointment.

  “How, um … how is … Sam?” Callie asked nonchalantly.

  “He is surviving. I'm not sure how.” Sadie answered quietly. “He's feeling quite lost and wretched, I believe.”

  “Well, he'll get over that, no doubt. He has God to help him.”

  “Yes. Well, Callie, some valleys we must walk alone.”

  “What's that supposed to mean?” Callie asked darkly.

  “It means that God sometimes withdraws a bit; and lets us deal with our feelings and emotions and desires on our own, without providing us all the answers and keys to change. That is how we grow. You see, if everything is always easy, we don't learn much. It's like having a teenager and either giving them everything they want; or, making them work for some of it.”

  Callie chuckled. “Yes, but Sam's no teenager.”

  “Oh, I don't know. In this area, he's rather untried. He's never been in love before, you know.”

  Callie had the decency to blush.

  As the month drew to a close, Sadie became almost frantic to do something about Sam and Callie. Finally, she went to Sam.

  “Sam, I’m concerned about Callie.” She said boldly, facing him across his desk in the trailer. They were moving the tent to Vermont the following morning. Something had to be done!

  “Why is that, Sadie?” he asked evenly, without looking up.

  “She’s lost her band, she’s out of a job, she’s depressed and she’s lonely. Her world is in a shamble, Sam.”

  Sam sighed, and shot her a pointed look over the top of his reading glasses. “What would you have me do?” he asked.

  “I don’t know!” Sadie answered, deeply grieved. “I just know that you’re the only one who can reach her now, Sam.”

  Sam sighed, and stared bleakly at his desk. “Sadie,” he said patiently. “I have already done everything I could think of to do. She has completely refused me. I think that as her props are pulled out from under her, she may soften in time. But the ball is in her court. It will do no good for me to badger her.”

  Sadie blinked back tears. “All right, Sam. Thanks, anyway.” She said.

  Sadie found the apartment quiet and dark, when she arrived that last night. Callie was not home. Sadie was worried to find that she still had not come home when she got up the next morning. She looked in Callie’s room and saw that the bed had been slept in, after all. So, she’d come home and gone again, already. Without saying goodbye.

  Sadie sighed. She left a schedule for the tent and a business card on the table, along with two dozen red roses. A greeting card expressed her love for Callie, and her thanks for allowing her to be her guest.

  And so, Callie spent the first day of July completely alone. Her heart was heavy. She felt stripped of everything that mattered to her. On the fourth, she went out to her mother's for the holiday, but didn't have much spirit to add to the celebration.

  The following week, she just sat in her apartment all alone. Then, she began to think about what she was going to do.

  She had begun finally to wonder, if it was truly so impossible for her to fit into Sam’s world. After all, she really had nothing to lose, anymore. She got down on her knees, just to see if she could do it. She found it not to be a problem.

  “God, if you really are real,” she challenged skeptically, “make yourself real to me at the tent tonight. Give me some clear sign if I’m supposed to travel with the tent. And if you do, I’ll do it all. I’ll give up. I’ll accept Jesus, and I’ll marry Sam, and I’ll work in the tent. But you’ve got to make it very clear to me.”

  She thought hard, and then threw a reckless and impossible gauntlet before the Lord. “It will have to be a healing, a significant one. And make it … make it someone I know, who gets healed.” Callie smiled a naughty smile. She didn’t know anyone in Vermont.

  She packed an overnight bag, and then she hit the road. She had to follow the tent to Vermont. Though it was a fairly long drive, she was strangely quiet. She didn’t want any music. She didn’t talk, she didn’t sing. She wore a simple camisole top, and jeans tucked into a pair of tall Western boots. She had her hair up in the same, old-fashioned bun she’d worn the last time she went to the tent. She only wore the barest hint of blush, some waterproof mascara, and some light, transparent lip gloss. She wanted to look fresh and natural, which she achieved.

  She drove across New York, north through all of Connecticut. Then through the whole of Massachusetts, and finally, into Vermont.

  She got something to eat when she was nearing the tent site, so that her arrival would be delayed until well after the evening meeting began. She didn’t want to talk to anybody, ahead of time. As she parked her car, she smiled grimly. She’d timed it well. She could hear music. She was trembling inside, but she’d set her heart to do this.

  There were fewer people attending the tent here, and as Callie approached, she could see that there was an occasional empty seat inside. She slipped into the tent, but hid behind the bleachers so that she could hear and see, but not be discovered. She found that the music lifted her spirits as she began to close her eyes and listen. Jeremy, Sean and Dalton played very well together.

  When they were finished, Callie found herself trembling, because she knew she was about to hear Sam’s voice. When in fact he did start talking, the sound pierced Callie like a knife.

  “Not long ago, I found myself thrust into a fire such as I’d never experienced or even dreamed of. I nearly wished I could die. I felt that I had little to live for, and very little hope left. I was wounded and I unintentionally wounded someone very dear to me.”

  He was quiet for a moment, and Callie heard his steps on the stage. “I, who had long since given my heart to the Lord; I, who had lived such a clean and sacrificial life, found that I was far from dead to myself. I had been deceiving myself. But you see, this was an area in which I’d never been tested before. I thought I had it whipped, but I was dead wrong. I discovered that I am no different than any other man; I had just never tasted temptation in that area. I found myself ready to throw away everything I’d ever promised God, in order to take what I selfishly wa
nted.”

  “Pride is such a subtle thing.” He said tiredly. “I thought I could handle every situation. I’ve had years of seasoning in the world and in the ministry. I have the Holy Spirit; I have a God who loves me. But He showed me that I was full of pride, yet. And He let me know that He’s not on my side; it’s my responsibility to ensure that I’m on His side.”

  He chuckled, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “I just found out that I am still susceptible to pride; deception; unbelief; loneliness; lust. Among other things, and not necessarily in that order. I thank the Lord for showing me how the pride had crept into my heart. Oh, how humbled I was! I didn’t think I’d ever have the heart to get up, and walk again. But I did, with His help.”

  “All he had to do to show me the true condition of my heart, was to introduce me to one beautiful young lady. I began to care for her, but I lost her. I tried to hold her, but I discovered that I had nothing to hold her with.”

  Callie gasped her outrage and peered between the bleacher steps, around feet to get a glimpse of Sam. He was standing there, bigger than life. The lights were turning his hair to fire. You could have heard a pin drop in the tent.

  “I didn’t look back. But when the shock wore off, I began to ask God why. Why? Wasn’t I young enough? Handsome enough? Rich enough?” He laughed derisively. “What shadow boxing. I knew the reason. It was because I was identified in Him. She is a woman of the world, and she didn’t want Him. She is precious and lovely, and innocent, but hostile to Jesus just the same.”

  “The Lord began to show me that I’d begun looking for an identity outside of Him, so that I might win her. It was apparent in my questions. And He explained to me that the world would never love me, if my identity is indeed, in Him. No matter how rich, handsome or young I might be. None of those things matter -- if I want Him. Did I truly still want Him in my life, at any cost? I wondered.”

  “I began to see just how easily I had drifted out from under his wonderful, mighty hand … into a stronghold, a kingdom that I’d begun building for myself. The very successful tent ministry.”

  He sighed. “So, I fell on my face; and I repented. I gave everything back to the Lord. I became so grateful that He hadn’t had to destroy the ministry to get my attention. I am so grateful that he used that vivacious, beautiful young woman to show me the pride and stupidity that I’d stumbled into.”

  "I’ve set her free. I’ll always pray that someday, I'll have a second chance. But if that doesn’t happen, I’ll die grateful to God that she was a part of my life for such a short time. She showed me my lack. The presence of God in my life was not enough to draw her to Jesus. I had nothing to give her that tempted her to walk away from the world, and come to the Lord. That realization shook me to my toes.”

  He chuckled. “I had compromised in my walk with God. I told her, she didn’t have to accept Jesus, she didn’t have to give up her life or her career. She knew that what I was suggesting we do, was impossible. She knew that it was all wrong. She was wise enough not to yield to the temptation. She didn’t yield to the lie that it would all work itself out, given some time. She was stronger than I was. She saw more clearly than I did, and she wasn’t even a Christian.”

  “I bless her for not yielding. She knew it would never work, unless we were in unity about Jesus. She was honest with me. She put my ministry first. She wouldn’t let me walk away from my vows to Jesus.”

  He sighed. “And so, thanks to the lady, I’m living in faith again, and now I’m willing to do things His way. She was so right to point me back to the path I’d promised God I’d take.”

  He looked around the tent with sharp, burning eyes. “And tonight, I want to ask each of you. Are you walking the path that you promised God you’d walk? Are you walking a path in darkness, without the light of His presence? If you are, everything can change tonight.”

  From there, Sam led the people into a searching of their own hearts. Meanwhile, Callie sat under the bleachers and wept. Oh, how she wished she’d worn her best dress! But then, she told herself, it wouldn’t matter to Sam. Not this Sam.

  A river of love and cleansing began to flow. Callie waited in the shadows while Sam laid hands on the people, and prayed for them. There were so many responding, that Callie couldn’t see Sam at all. When the crowd finally began to clear, she heard Sam’s voice again.

  “Jimmie, will you come here for a moment, please?” he asked gently. Callie was amazed to see her old bass player Jimmie Johnston approach Sam, red-faced. “Jimmie, the Lord has shown me tonight that you have a disability. It’s a hidden thing that very few know about. He wants to heal you tonight, and set you free. Are you willing?”

  Jimmie nodded his blond head in assent, and tears started streaming down his cheeks. Sam hugged him as Jimmie’s shoulders began to shake. “Will you receive Him as Lord and Savior, Jimmie?” Sam asked quietly.

  Jimmie nodded, and Sam gently laid his hands on him, and prayed. Jimmie began to tremble violently under the touch of the Holy Spirit, and though he fell like a dead man, he continued to shake. At last, the shaking stopped and Jimmie struggled to his feet.

  “I’m free!” He yelled loudly. He laughed aloud and jumped up and down. “I’m healed! I’m free! I’m totally healed!”

  Sam went to him, and talked to him. Then he handed the mic to Jimmie, and Jimmie faced the crowd. “I had scoliosis and I had a problem with my hand that I’d had all my life. My hand was a little bit deformed. When I was on the floor, I felt my back being pulled, and it’s all straight now. And now I look at my hand, and it’s perfectly normal. Glory to God! Glory to God!” he shouted.

  The tent erupted into a tumult of sound. Callie sat petrified, looking at the hand that Jimmie held up. It certainly looked different than the hand she’d always witnessed with her own eyes. It was now, indeed perfect. He had been made whole by the power of God.

  She sat, numb with shock, and fear. Now, it was her turn to fulfill her part of the bargain. God had shown her a true miracle, given to someone she knew. He’d fulfilled her specs to the letter!

  But then, Sam began to speak again. “I feel as though there is one more person here tonight who wants to give their life to Jesus. Someone just made up his or her mind, because of the miracle healing that Jimmie received. I know it’s getting late, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ll stay here all night with you, if need be.”

  Sam was looking around the tent. He was looking at the bleachers, scanning the crowd. He surely wasn’t watching the center aisle. Callie emerged from behind the bleachers. She lifted her shoulders, and walked right up that center aisle. She had to. God had called her bluff.

  And, Sam had torn her heart open. She was through with being stiff-necked and full of pride. She loved Sam. He was worth giving up her lifestyle for. God had already stripped her of her band and her job. She was going to do it. She was ready to surrender to Jesus.

  When Callie was almost to the steps, her movement caught Sam’s eye. He turned and looked. Clyde had gone to stand with him, slightly behind, or Sam’s legs would surely not have supported him when he realized that Callie was there, and all that her being there in front of him, must mean. But Clyde’s body was there to block Sam’s fall and imperceptibly brace and hold him up, as Callie climbed the stairs with her eyes begging Sam to receive her.

  What Callie did not know is that two giant angels flanked her, in bright glory, as she came to offer herself on the altar. But Sam saw their presence, and Clyde, bless him, had foreseen Sam's need for physical support. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and held a hand to Callie. He had his feet under him again, solid as a rock.

  She looked up at him shyly, and took his hand. He was smiling at her, uncertain of what to say. She just smiled back and said, “I guess it’s me. I couldn’t even hide behind the bleachers.”

  “What’s you?” he asked quizzically.

  “I’m the one God’s looking for, tonight. I threw out a fleece and He met the chal
lenge. So, I’m holding up my part of the bargain. He’s convinced me that He is real, so I want to be on His team.”

  Sam looked at her with a very quizzical smile, and shook his head. “That’s extremely good to hear.” He said, trying not to laugh. “You're certain you're ready?” he asked almost suspiciously.

  Yes.” She assured him with a shaky composure.

  Sam took both her hands, and slowly led her through a prayer. The words came hard for him because emotion kept threatening to sweep them both away, but they made it through. When she’d repeated all the words with very convincing conviction, Sam put his hand on her head and prayed.

  “Jesus, come in. Holy Spirit, fill your temple.”

  The power of God hit Callie like a locomotive. She was thrown back. Gentle hands broke her fall and helped her to the floor. She lay there with tears streaming down her face. What was happening to her was absolutely incredible.

  Although she couldn’t open her eyes, she knew that Sam had fallen beside her, like a dead man. She could feel his presence. She could feel all that was going on inside his heart, and she was almost sure he could feel what was happening to her, as well.

  It was magic; incredible! And when she’d cried out all the tears that she had to cry, she felt indescribable joy flood her being. It was totally unexpected, and impossible to explain.

  Clyde and Sadie stood side by side over the two, smiling down at them with tears in their eyes.

  “What God has joined, let no man put asunder.” Sadie said impishly.

  Clyde picked up the cordless mic, and began offering prayer to the crowd. And so, for an hour or so, the floor of the tent filled up with the bodies of people prostrate under the power of God.

  Callie could not have begun to describe what she felt when she was lying on the floor of the tent. She went somewhere she'd never been. She felt the weight of glory on her chest and head; she felt the great love of God encompass her, totally. She felt free, and filled with joy unspeakable. She felt totally cared for, as if she were being held in a mighty hand, and washed in the river of Life. It was simply indescribable.