Always Tried and Proven Page 11

  “But Sadie, what’s the difference?” Callie grumbled. “If Sam loves me, there’s nothing wrong with us having a relationship!”

  “If Sam loves you, Callie, he will make you his wife. And you’ll lose nothing by waiting until he does.”

  Callie made a sound of frustration in her throat. “So I have to give up my entire life, accept Jesus and travel with the tent if I want Sam. And to top it all, wait until Jesus says it's okay for us to be together.”

  Sadie shrugged. “Being man and wife is a spiritual thing, Callie. Sam knows that. But people wouldn't understand; he's in the ministry, and conventions would demand that he marry you formally before that kind of intimacy. As for traveling with the tent, Sam’s gone a lot. But I don’t think he’d insist that you travel with the tent all the time. You’d have to accept Jesus, though, and I think that if you continued working in the bars, Sam would suffer persecution for it.”

  “I’m no fool, Sadie. I know darn well I’d have to give it up. And as for the tent, Sam has already made it clear to me that he wants me there.”

  “Explain.” Sadie drawled with intense interest.

  “He’s asked me already to travel with the tent. I’ve got twenty-five days to make up my mind, fire my band, cancel my contracts, move out of my apartment, get rid of everything I own, and start living for Jesus.”

  “Oh, Callie. He must love you very much.” Sadie said, blinking back tears. She put a hand on her throat, alarmed by the risk Sam had taken. Callie obviously didn’t understand very much yet.

  “What do you mean?” Callie snapped.

  “He’s offered you his world on a silver platter. He’s asking you to come unconditionally, just to keep you close to him; just so he can be near you. He wants you singing in the tent, yes. But the real reason is because he loves you. He’s trying to buy more time with you. Keep you with him.”

  Looking into Sadie’s eyes, Callie felt something akin to shame wash over her. It caused her pain. “But Sadie, to do that, I have to give up my whole life, everything that is important to me. And I don’t really fit in the tent, I don’t belong.”

  Sadie closed her eyes. “I understand, Callie. I really do. It’s either got to be you, or Sam who gives up everything else, if you want to be together.”

  “And I don’t want to! I’m not even close to being ready to give up my band.” She sighed heavily. “I don’t want to be in love, I don’t want to change one thing. Except it’s all changed already, whether I like it or not.”

  Sadie shook her head. “I know. And anything less than total commitment would undermine Sam’s ministry.” She sighed heavily. “Callie, Sam walks in so much. He heals the sick. He saves the lost. He is offering you the life and love of a living, powerful Jesus Christ. He’s not in a position to sacrifice all that.

  "Can you just hang out a bit more, and see if Jesus doesn’t become real to you? Callie, I have to believe there’s a plan in this for you. God won’t hang you and the beautiful voice he gave you, out to dry. But He does seem to close one door before the next one opens. You’d have to have faith that it would all work out … beautifully, I imagine.”

  Callie sighed wearily. “When I see the sick healed, I’ll take a good hard look at what you’re saying.”

  “It is happening now at the tent, Callie. Come on your day off, and see.”

  Callie gave her a suspicious look, but she nodded her assent.

  Sadie could see that she’d reached the saturation point. “All right. You get some rest, and tomorrow things won’t look so bleak. Just you know this, Callie. It almost killed Sam to let you go tonight. I tried to talk to him, to see if I could help in any way. He was so upset that he couldn't even speak to me! He loves you all right, and he’s worth waiting for. Callie; with God there is always a plan, and always a way. I promise.”

  Sadie hugged Callie soundly, and went back to her room. She sank to her knees and wept silently, and prayed for Sam. She prayed for Callie’s salvation.

  Sam had an almost irresistible urge to get good and drunk. The pain in his heart was making him sick. He'd never had such feelings of anguish and fear before, in his life. He couldn't stand to lose Callie. He simply couldn't bear it!

  He should have just gone inside with her. He could have stayed dressed. He could have stayed in the living room on the couch, and talked it out with her. He should have held her when she begged him to. He was going to lose her, and he deserved to!

  He made it home, somehow. His hands shook as he opened the door and went into the foyer. Ripping his shirt off, he stumbled. He roared at the top of his lungs, and fell onto his knees, in abject misery. Tears seeped out of his eyes.

  He was so angry! King David himself took the woman he wanted, when he wanted – even killed her husband to get her! God didn't strike him dead!

  “Oh, no. Not you! Too afraid. Too pure. Too gutless! You didn't even have to convince her! She knew it was right! She sees you for what you are, now. She knows what a blow hard you are! Where was your precious faith? Don't you think your God would have given you the strength to do what was right? Don't you believe He'd have 'made a way'? Isn't that what you always say? 'God will make a way!'

  “Not you! You wouldn't even go in her apartment. Too weak! You were too spineless and self-righteous to even talk it out with her. You just let her go in alone, to cry and think the worst of you, and become bitter. You Loser!”

  “Shut up!” Sam seethed. “Shut the hell up!”

  “She's used to men of the world! Men who know what they want, and don't run away when the natural laws of nature open a pathway for what's right. Men who have the nerve to stay with a woman and love her when she begs them!”

  He couldn't erase the words, the thoughts that had been screaming in his head so relentlessly. They worked their way deeper, entrenching themselves in his mind, heart and spirit. He couldn't seem to help it. No matter how hard he tried to 'un-think' them, they just kept flitting around in his mind. And, they did their work well. He actually cried in desperation, emptiness and defeat.

  He had lost her. He knew it in his heart. He'd had his chance, and blown it. It was already over.

  Sam called at three the next afternoon. Sadie answered the call tiredly.

  “Sadie?” Sam asked worriedly. “How’s Callie?”

  “I don’t know, Sam. She hasn’t come out of her room yet, today.”

  “Stupid.” Sam cursed himself under his breath. “Sadie, you don’t sound so hot yourself. I’m sorry I snapped your head off last night.”

  “It’s all right, Sam. And I’m fine. I understand. I was just up all night, praying.”

  “Well, thanks, Sadie.” He answered. “Will you do me a favor and see if she’s awake?”

  “Sure. Hold on.” Sadie agreed. She returned a moment later. “Sam, she’s not here. She didn’t leave a note.” She said, feeling panicky.

  “That’s all right, Sadie.” Sam soothed. “Let her run. She’s got to come to the end of her rope before I can do anything with her. I’ll catch up with her at the club tonight, if she skips the tent.”

  “She wouldn’t.” Sadie denied.

  “She might. She was extremely angry with me.” Sam argued.

  “Not nearly so angry as you might think. Offended, yes. Outraged, yes. Frustrated, yes. And a bit angry. But she simmered down as time went by. She actually has a pretty good grasp on the situation, Sam.”

  “Did she talk to you about it?” Sam asked incredulously.

  “Yes, when I just barged in and made her, about five this morning. She was miserable and she needed to understand what was happening and where you were coming from.”

  That, stung. He should have done that for Callie, himself. “And did you have any success?” he asked wearily.

  “I think I did. She felt rejected. And hurt.”

  He sighed. “I know. Sadie, I never intended to hurt her in any way. I never dreamed it could get so complicated. I’ve been playing with fire, and I know better. I just never
imagined things would happen so quickly.”

  “I know, Sam. Well; now I guess we’ll have to just stand firm and trust God. I still believe that you and she belong together. And you will be together.”

  Sam was quiet. “Really?” he asked softly.

  “Really. She’s perfect for you. Sam, God won’t let her slip away. He brought Callie into your life. She's here to stay. If she's the right one, a little disagreement isn't going to ruin everything.”

  He sighed with relief. “I’m relieved to hear you say it, Sadie. I thought perhaps I’d been deluding myself. Or worse, that I've blown it with her, already.”

  “No, no.” Sadie laughed. “No, this is a nick that doesn’t come along every day. God's big enough to salvage this, Sam. You know that.”

  “She just needs Jesus.” Sam whispered. “That’s all she needs. But she doesn’t understand any of it yet. She doesn't know that He's real, and that He loves her. That He has such plans for her life, so much to give her. I wish I could help her; but I have to just wait.”

  “She understands now that she has to give up the bars and accept Jesus, if she wants you.” Sadie assured him.

  “What? Did you tell her that?” Sam growled.

  “She pretty much figured it out on her own. She knows you can’t come her way, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize your ministry. So that leaves her giving up her life as she knows it.”

  Sam groaned.

  “What? Sam, it’s best that she understand this.”

  “It would have been easier for her to face after ...” He said impatiently. “Well; what’s done is done.” He sighed. “I know that whatever He has in store for her, will be incredible and fulfilling, but there's no way I can tell her that, right now. I guess we’ll just have to take it one day at a time. And pray.”

  “I’ll pray, Sam.” Sadie promised

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Callie had taken a cab to the club, an hour before Sam’s call. From there, she got in her truck and went for a very late breakfast. After a few hours’ sleep and with some food on her stomach, Callie could see that she was in a no-win situation. Of course, Sam would never willingly give up his ministry or do anything to compromise it. And she couldn’t see herself ever fitting into any kind of religious mold. Yet, Sam could hardly marry her unless she could and would.

  But the most immediate problem was whether or not to go to the tent, tonight. She didn’t want to face Sam at all, and yet she knew that it would be foolish to run away. She decided that it would be best to go once more, and sing. Then, she’d tell them she was through.

  She timed her entrance at the tent, for five until seven. She hurried in and went straight to the piano. “Hi, Jeremy.” She said tightly. “Tonight, it’s Amazing Grace, key of A. Straight as an arrow, all right?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Jeremy agreed, giving Callie a cheeky smile. “That doesn’t need any rehearsal at all.” He'd already learned to trust Callie's instincts. She was always, spot on. Sam had picked a winner, in this songbird.

  “Great.” Callie said quickly. She smiled, and walked out of the tent to the front, long section, away from the entrances. She didn’t want to run into anyone. As she observed, she realized that the tent crowd had grown substantially just over the past few days. The people were coming in droves. Callie felt sure that there were over ten thousand crowded in and around the tent.

  “Callie! You came. Thank you!” Sadie exclaimed, throwing her arms around her friend’s neck.

  “Yes. It was the right thing to do.”

  Sadie squeezed her hand, and smiled. She could see that things were weighing very heavily on Callie’s heart. “Well, I can only agree. You look lovely.” She complimented.

  Callie looked very feminine and dainty, in a dress of lavender and green floral, printed on a white background. Lace yokes and knee high, white cowboy boots gave it a very romantic look. She had her hair up in a turn of the century, poofy bun, with tendrils hanging here and there. She was beautiful enough for an old-fashioned picture.

  “I’ll tell Sam that you’re here.”

  Callie caught Sadie’s hand. “Sadie, did you talk to him today?”

  Sadie looked guilty. “I did, a little bit. He called around three, looking for you.”

  “What did he say?”

  Sadie shrugged. “That he feels awful. That he never meant to do anything that would hurt you. And, that he loves you very much, and wants to be with you.”

  “Huh.” Callie snorted.

  “Well, honey, I’d better get started.” Sadie said nervously. She left Callie there, and went to the office trailer.

  “Sam? Sam, Callie is here.” She said as soon as she was in the door. “Where do you want to fit her song in?”

  Sam turned his eyes up to Sadie with extreme weariness. “Put her first. That way she can complete her obligation quickly, and be free to go whenever she wants to.” He answered coldly.

  Sadie looked at him with surprise. “All right.” She answered crisply.

  “Sadie, I’m sorry. I’m trying. I really am.” Sam sighed.

  Sadie tipped her head in acquiescence and smiled tightly. “I know. I’ll tell her.” She closed the door and hurried back to the tent with a growl brewing in her throat. “Lord, we need you tonight in all of your grace, mercy and glory.” She whispered. “Won’t you pick Samuel up by his bootstraps and knock Callie to her knees? Anything less will be a disaster.”

  Sadie quickly briefed the staff about the order of service, avoiding Callie’s questioning eyes, and then she opened the service. After greetings, announcements and staff introductions, she introduced Callie.

  Callie presented a very pretty picture in the tent that evening. But, there was more to it than her physical appearance. There was a broken, fragile quality about her that was evident to all that could see her shining eyes. It was evident in her very posture. There was a touching humility, despite her proud shoulders, the gentle smile on her lips. The tent was making a change in Callie.

  Her voice was rich and full, as she began to sing Amazing Grace. There was an honesty and tenderness about it. When she sang, ‘a wretch like me’, she certainly sounded sincere. But as the song built to the fourth verse, she arose like a Phoenix from the ashes and took flight in glorious, joyful triumph.

  Sam stood in the side doorway of the tent, watching her lovely profile with crossed arms and a carefully masked face. He wanted in the worst way to stay away, to not have to look at her; but he simply couldn’t do it. And he felt his heart breaking into pieces. She was so precious! She was so beautiful; so vulnerable, and sweet.

  Tears began to spill down Sam’s cheeks as she sang. He began to weep in earnest as she turned, and he saw the fullness of her lovely face. He went backstage so that she wouldn’t see his tears, because he simply couldn’t hold them inside. The sweet tones of her voice vibrated through the wooden planks of the stage; the metal poles that connected it; the air that filled his chest. The entire tent and atmosphere throbbed with Callie's essence. It was like a spear thrust deeply into his heart.

  He went to his knees in a private nook. He wept and cried out to God for Callie, as he could never remember pleading for a soul before. It had nothing to do with his own desire for her; it had only to do with her need.

  Sam and God both discovered that night, that he had a very unselfish love for Callie Wilson. That evening, he was finally able to give Callie and their relationship into God’s hands.

  He heard the applause for Callie, and he heard Clyde pick up the ball for him when he didn’t appear on cue. He waited until he felt that he could maintain composure, and listened. Meanwhile, Sadie beckoned Callie down the front steps of the stage, and took her arm. She led her up the main aisle to the front left entrance. They stood there, just inside the door.

  “Why can’t I go through the back? It would be much less disruptive.” Callie whispered.

  “Not tonight. Sam’s back there.” Sadie hissed.

  Callie gave her a wide-eye
d look. “So, am I not allowed to be near him, or what?” she asked defensively.

  “He needs to have his composure, to minister tonight, Callie. He’s having a hard time finding it, so please. Lighten up.” Sadie snapped.

  Callie gave her a shocked glance. Sadie had never been less than pleasant and patient with her.

  But as she finished speaking, Sam joined Clyde out front, and took the lapel mic. Callie looked up at him in absolute shock. He looked terrible! She could have sworn that he’d been weeping. He looked sharp as ever in his black suit, but his eyes mirrored torment.

  “Ladies and gentlemen.” Sam said quietly. The tent hushed to absolute stillness at the tone of Sam’s voice. “Before we go any farther tonight, there is something that I absolutely have to do.”

  He took a deep breath, and sighed. “I have been carrying a very heavy burden for a specific young woman since I first came to this city. I don’t know her identity, but I am certain that she has been here the first two nights. She is here again tonight. Tonight, I feel that this is absolutely the first order of business, so I ask your patience.”

  “Young lady, I am telling you that it is imperative that you come to grips with this, tonight. I’m not sure why; I only know what He tells me. If you can’t come forward in front of all these people, talk to one of the tent staff, and ask them to give me a message. No one else has to know who you are. Just don’t leave here again tonight, without talking to me. Please.”

  “Honey, perhaps you think you’re all right where you are. But, you have great need of Him; and nothing in your life can truly come to fruition, until you respond to the call of God on your life.”

  “You are twenty-three years old.” He said patiently. “Your father’s name was Willy. Your mother’s name was Suzette. You were involved with a man named Dexter, and you got hurt. There was some connection between Dexter and your father. You have long, dark hair.” Sam paused. “I also have been getting the letters ‘CW’ for some reason. Does this information mean anything to anybody?”